The relationship between mother and daughter has been heavily prevalent in films and television series focusing on Asian families; here are some examples from the last few years.
Why Is This Important?
The relationship between children and their immigrant parents is full of complexities and constantly evolving dynamics. Its reflections in media created an open dialogue on just how different these relationships may be from mother-daughter relationships in Western countries.
Books like Amy Tan’s Joy Luck Club and Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (although the latter is focused on the relationship between an immigrant mother and her queer son) have and are being translated from page to screen. Seeing reflections of the relationships and bonds shared only between Asian families is both joyous and tumultuous at the same time.
Commonly, these relationships in the media rely on themes of miscommunication, the switching of power dynamics, and filial piety. They hold hundreds of various pockets and facets filled with different interpretations that somehow an entire community can feel in their core.
Never Have I Ever (2020–)
Netflix’s Never Have I Ever first premiered amid the 2020 lockdown. The comedy series, now having just released its fourth season, focuses on Devi Vishwakumar, a sixteen-year-old girl played by Maitreyi Ramakrishnan in the year following her father’s death. The show has been praised for its shattering of stereotypical Asian archetypes.
Although the love triangle between Devi and two boys from her high school takes precedence as the main love story, the one between her and her mom, Nalini, is just as impactful. The series puts further strain on their tense relationship after the loss of Devi’s father, Mohan.
Devi, a headstrong teenager, is ready to embrace her youth and break out from her nerdier past. On the other hand, Nalini is emboldened by the immigrant mother stereotypes: strict, slightly (or sometimes not slightly) condescending, and never on the same page as her more “Americanized” daughter.
What’s beautiful about Devi and Nalini’s relationship throughout the show is their willingness to love and be there for one another. The loss of Mohan is not one they do not share, nor is their grief. Without giving away too many spoilers, show creator Mindy Kaling does a beautiful job of showing the seemingly-unforgivable-fights to the-words-we-wish-we-could-take-back and all the way back to a cry-worthy reconciliation.
Turning Red (2022)
Disney+’s Turning Red stunned and won over audiences with over 1.7 billion minutes streamed during its at-home release on March 7th through 13th of 2022. The film, written and directed by Domee Shi (co-writer credit to Julia Cho), follows the relationship of thirteen-year-old Meilin ‘Mei’ Li, voiced by Rosalie Chiang, and her mother Ming, voiced by Sandra Oh, in 2002 Toronto.
Combining authentic themes of being the perfect daughter and the beginning of true teenage rebellion with a basic Chinese tale, Disney presents a coming of age with a physical transformation, reflecting the dynamics between a daughter and her mother during a time of change and departure.
The film is praised for its homages to early 2000s culture and for depicting Meilin and Ming’s relationship as beautiful and imperfect. Mei, the perfect Chinese daughter, is at the time of her adolescence when she has wants and ideals that may be outside Ming’s impression of her. When Ming accidentally embarrasses her daughter in front of her crush and her peers, Mei spends a night in distress and despair when suddenly, the next morning, she wakes as a giant red panda.
Mei later finds out that this is something that runs in her family and must be kept repressed and hidden (and thus, so must her emotions) to continue with her life. Having always been taught by her mother to keep it hidden, Ming teaches her daughter to do the same.
The metaphor of generational trauma is not lost upon the average viewer. It elevates this film from a cute coming-of-age story between a thirteen-year-old girl and her mother to one that can relate to mothers and daughters of all ages. The film ends with both Mei and Ming shedding their barriers and embracing their best “panda self”. In other words, the two began to embrace their differences and strive toward a better mutual relationship.
The Common Thread
What ties these two things together as well as other recent releases such as A24’s Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) and Disney+’s Ms. Marvel (2022), is how prevalent the love between mother and daughter is even when the worst has come.
Although never perfect, all of these shows and films end at the beginning of reconciliation and rebuilding. There are wrongs and rights in both the imperfect figures in this dynamic, but what makes it beautiful to see on screen is witnessing the change. While reality may not always match what we see in film and television, there is a comfort to be derived from seeing the possibility and perhaps even recognizing our lives on screen.
